I was feeling pretty bummed yesterday, sort of inexplicably blue. So, I managed to sneak away from the office for a lil trip to Central Market, this fancy, dancy store with all kinds of indulgent and yummy treats. One piece of pumpkin cheesecake with gingersnap crust later, I felt better, if not somewhat guilty. I'll beat myself up over it later but at least I made it through the day.
I have been having IVF dreams. I'm sure it is because thinking about the IVF has been occupying so much of my awake thoughts. So in my dream last night, I was trying to figure out the steps I was supposed to take to administer the medicine and I just couldn't do it. There was some brown goo I had to do something with and I just couldn't get it right. Figures! Actually, Menopur injection no. 1 went ok this morning and Follistim pen injection no. 1 is tonight so hopefully that will go well too. I watched the video on the pen again yesterday. I'm sure if we are on to IVF #2, I'll be an old pro at this...
My RE gives my odds of success at 40%. G thinks those are GREAT odds. To me, not so much. 6 out of 10 women are going to walk away broken-hearted. My IRL friend, who has twins with her partner from their first IUI with donor sperm, is trying to be supportive. "Think positively" she says. I guess it is hard to even dream that after more than 10 years of IF, I might actually have a chance at pregnancy... Trying not to think about the possibilities and just take one step at a time.
Parenting and anxiety
6 years ago
