Induction scheduled...

So, at 37 weeks 6 days, I'm 100% effaced but still just 1 cm dilated. If baby boy doesn't make his appearance before next Friday, July 30, we are to go to the hospital at 4 am to start inducing the birth.

Let the countdown begin....

37 weeks tomorrow....

37 weeks tomorrow. I can't believe we are getting so close. Still seems surreal. As of today, I'm 80% effaced but still only 1 cm dilated. In the last week, effacement progressed 30%. If it continues at a similar rate, I suppose baby could arrive by the end of next week. One can't help but dilate once effaced at 100%, right?

OB will discuss induction at my appt. next Wed. because of my underlying high bp. She's looking at July 30 or at 39 weeks. I'm not sure we will make it that far, but who knows.

I can feel the baby moving really low (and sort of painfully) now. Feels like he's right on top of my cervix. We got a really creepy u/s pic of his face today. If the pic is accurate, his nose and mouth are grotesquely deformed. I'm hoping he's perfect!

36 weeks...

The internal exam yesterday showed I am 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced. The OB seemed surprised at how low the baby’s head is, but didn’t tell me the station. She said I could deliver at any time or go for a couple of weeks. She didn’t seem concerned that if I had the baby in the next week, I would only be 36 weeks and didn’t tell me to rest or take it easy. Much more spotting after yesterday’s internal than last week’s, with the same continuing today. I’m attributing that to the fact that my cervix is apparently much softer than it was last week. Overall, the cervical progress, I think, is good news.

My OB expressed a little concern because my bp was slightly elevated yesterday at 140/80… ha! I can tell her exactly why- the whole dispute with the peri and the OB over proper monitoring protocols based on my situation. I am more and more convinced that this is a personality conflict/ego war between the peri and the OB. I told the OB that the peri has a different opinion as to performing the biophysical profiles and non-stress test than the OB does. The smirk on her face at that point, coupled with her question “Oh yeah, what did she say?” gave it all away. It was a priceless expression and I felt as if I were a high school student engaging in the latest gossip. The problem with that is that this is about me having a baby not about the OB’s and peri’s egos and gossip regarding the other. I feel stuck in the middle of the two of them. I learned from the very kind nurse at the peri’s office that the OB did her residency under the peri and I wonder how much of this has to do with that former relationship.

The bottom line is if I have sonos/non-stress tests with the peri on Mondays, the OB won’t do any monitoring. The peri conceded to seeing me once a week with the understanding the OB would monitor on Thursdays when I see her, which isn’t the case. If I decide to skip the peri altogether, the OB will do sonos, but not non-stress tests. So, I have three options: (1) see the peri for sonos/non-stress tests on Mondays and have internals with the OB on Thursdays; (2) go back to seeing the peri for sonos/non-stress tests two times a week and see OB for internals; or (3) skip the peri altogether and just see the OB who will do internals/sonos, but no non-stress tests. Right now, I’m scheduled with appointments for option 1. Not sure what I should do. It is difficult to make a decision when the two drs express such varied opinions on the proper protocol. For now, I tend to be sticking my head in the sand and just hoping the baby comes soon so that decision is over. Otherwise, I’m just hoping whatever decision I make doesn’t lead to regret later. I know the decision the OB wants me to make is to skip the peri altogether. Yesterday, she talked about how her office’s equipment is just as good as the peri’s. I wanted to scream that this isn’t about how good the relative equipment is, but rather about me successfully giving birth to a live, living-breathing baby…. Grrrr.

35 weeks...

I’m 35 weeks today. Biophysical profile and non-stress test continue to be fine. I’ve had some mild low cramping off and on. Not sure if these cramps are BH or not and I have a strange vibrating feeling around my cervix several times a day for the past few days. Not sure what that is either. Internal at OB yesterday showed .5 cm dilation and softening cervix. Some spotting afterwards and continuing today, but OB says is to be expected. The baby is estimated to weigh 5 lbs 5 oz at this point.

Unwanted drama with the OB because she doesn’t want me to continue to see the peri on the basis that I am not really high risk simply because of my “advanced maternal age” and pre-pg chronic high bp. She doesn’t think the monitoring the peri is doing is necessary. I tried to explain, although I don’t think I was very articulate, that my anxiety is a function of residual IF fears, the fact that it has taken 12 years to get to this point, my age (40 two months from tomorrow!), and that the additional monitoring is reassuring for me mentally. She said if I continue to see the peri, she doesn’t know what I need her for. Ummm, to deliver the baby? She additionally said I need to have a life and going to the dr. 2x per week isn’t conducive with a life. I tried to explain that right now, having a successful pregnancy IS my life. Ugh.

I went to my peri appt this morning and talked to the peri. I ended up crying (stupid hormones). The peri was adamant that the monitoring in my circumstances is standard medical protocol but has agreed to see me once a week instead of 2x. I’m happy with the compromise but doubt the OB will be.

If I weren’t so close to the end of the pg, I think I would switch OBs. I like her but I feel she doesn’t understand my needs or what pg after IF is like. While I know it is unlikely for anything to go wrong at this point, it does happen and for those it affects, it is certainly devastating. If additional monitoring could prevent such a loss, then I want the additional monitoring. Hopefully, she will take the news that I am still seeing the peri at my appt next week ok. I mean, I have enough on my plate to worry about whether the OB is pissed at me for trying to do what I believe is right for me.