Whew!

It looks like I am indeed pregnant. I really can't believe it and I am very thankful!

My very sweet GP called me with yesterday's beta results. Before he gave me the results, he quizzed me on when the last time I had an hcg injection was so as to make sure the beta wasn't showing a false positive.

Last Friday's beta at 11dp3dt was 68 and yesterday's number at 14dp3dt or 17 dpo was 209!!!! So the doubling time is about 45 hours or so. Yeah!

Now I feel like I can breathe a little. Next beta is Friday at the RE's office.

Again, thanks for everyone's support. It means more than I could ever express in words...

Urgh!

So, when the Re's office called with beta no.1 on Friday, the nurse said recheck on Monday, which would have been 72 hours... Shortly later, she called back and said recheck on Friday instead, one week after beta no. 1. What? Is my Re crazy? Does he not realize that there's no way I can wait until FRIDAY to know if the pregnancy is progressing as it should?!?!?

So, I called my gp's office this morning to see if I could come in for a beta. Yes, I can come in. I get there and have a very bizarre conversation with the lab tech drawing my blood because no where on her paper does it say to check hcg. Instead, my thryoid, cholesterol, lipids, etc. are being checked. What? I tell the girl at the desk and supposedly the hcg is added to the draw. I get the results tomorrow.

I'm stressed waiting and irritated that my RE doesn't do the repeat beta at 48 hours. I'm sure he has a reason but whatever it is, I don't like it! :-)

On a happier note, the pee sticks are getting darker and no more bleeding. I've read that statistically, I have a 25% of miscarrying. I'm trying to focus on the 75% chance of success!

Thanks for everyone's support.

Beta...

Beta today at 11dp3dt or 14 dpo was 68. I only got the positive hpt on Wednesday evening and it was faint, faint, faint on a FRER sensitive to 25, so I think the number would be consistent with a doubling in about 48 hours. Monday is second beta. Please cross fingers. I had a spotting incident yesterday morning that really scared me, but since nothing. The line of the FRER today was darker than on Thursday morning so that makes me feel better. (Yes, the hpt manufacturers love me. I think I have peed on 15 sticks so far!) ACK!

When I was in for my beta, saw my RE (who is awesome) and told him I cheated on the hpt. He gave me a hug and said "I'm not worried about the bleeding and I don't want you to be worried either." I'm trying to think positively, but recognize this could have a poor outcome.

I checked the Betabase and it looks like 388 women had betas in that range at 14dpo and 235 had betas lower. Of course, many had higher betas.

I sorta feel in limbo land with the bleeding and the kinda low beta. Kinda scared and afraid to let myself feel happy yet.

Monday will be the big test!

Ummmmm......

Today is 9dp3dt. No spotting since yesterday around 1 pm or so. No cramps either.

I am in shock. I first started trying to get pregnant in 1998. I've never, ever gotten two lines on a hpt. 11 years of stark white negatives!

I got a BFP on a FRER last night but really faint. I tested again this morning with a FRER and again faint. I stopped at Walmart on the way to work and got a "pregnant" on a clearblue digital and a nice, definite positive on a EPT.

I know it is early. I know what CAN happen, but for now, I'm cautiously optimistic.

Beta is on Friday....

TMI

I'm about to share TMI, not for the faint of heart.... At 8dp3dt, I've got light pink on the toilet paper this afternoon. Too late for implantation bleeding, no? Can you have break through bleeding on daily PIO injections? For some reason, I thought that was unlikely. Gah!

POAS

and at 10dpo/7dp3dt, BFN.

I know it could be early, but I suspect not. *sigh* Am resigning myself for the bad news. Grrr.

691,200...

Nope... that number is not how much money G and I have in the bank. Not even close. If it were, I wouldn't be stressed about how we will pay for IVF #2 if IVF #1 fails. It is the number of seconds until I expect results from my beta test on "Black Friday".

Really, "Black Friday"? I know it is a day of good shopping deals and all for those crazy, umm... I mean, brave people (including G, even after my haranging for the foolishness of it all) willing to stand elbow to elbow with their fellow man at 5 o'clock in the morning in bone chilling temperatures in hopes of having a chance for 1 of the 5 big screen tvs the big discount store down the street is selling for $200. But, I ask, is Black Friday really an auspicious day for a beta result?

I think not. Instead, it seems to denote despair and negativity. I mean, just how good can the results on a "Black Friday" be? And why is it called BF anyway? Is this when retailers hope to finally pull out of the red for the year? That doesn't encourage me either. I don't want any red associated with beta day. That denotes the impending arrival of AF, who we hope stays away for a nice, long time. The association with red also nixes Valentine's Day and Christmas.

I need a day that conjures up visions of happiness and joy. May Day perhaps. That's a nice and cheerful day or Easter, with its newness, or Earth Day, where everything is green, fertile and harmonous. Instead, even the calendar mocks me and my efforts to conceive. What do I get? Black Friday. I can just hear the calendar's taunting refrain now. 690,586...