Ok, so I admit, it I am almost paralyzed with fear.... What if something goes wrong? I thought I saw a spot of pinkish discharge on the tp today. I feel crazy with worry. I simply don't know if I have it in me to go through this again if the worst happens. I know the odds are in my favor. 75% of baby sticking... 25% of, well, not. But, it seems that the fear is consumming me. How do I get past that?
Seriously, I don't want to let G down, but I don't know if I can go through this stress again. I think I might just want to opt for adoption again. That's not to say that adoption isn't stressful in itself. It is and it is invasive and makes you feel like you are under a microscope and being judged all the time.
Blah! Maybe I'll feel better after next week's ultrasound? But then I think, how will I get through Christmas if the worst happens before then? Pretty much, once again... I'm a mess.
Grade 6!
2 years ago
Spotting is really, really common. It could be from implantation, even this late. It could be that your cervix is irritated by progesterone (I forgot if you're doing suppositories?). Could be a UTI. Could be nothing.
ReplyDeleteIf you see more spotting, it's possible that your doctor might get you in for an earlier ultrasound, which might be nice.
But, you'll be ok, whatever happens. The waiting is soooo very hard.
Hugs
I know exactly how you feel. But you have to remember you have amazing betas on your side and your last entry you mention how crazy tired you were. Healthy pregnancies often have strong symptoms like that. The waiting is nerve-wracking, but I think it's because as infertiles we're so used to things going horribly wrong for us. You have all signs pointing at things going wonderfully though and the odds are totally in your favor. Hang in there! I am thinking of you!
ReplyDeletePlease try and relax. It sounds like everything is going great with the pregnancy so far. Take a deep breath and try to do something to take your mind off it.
ReplyDelete